This is my sestina paper blah blah blah.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Beauty Shopping...
Had this lip color...lost in a Dave&Busters in ATL, and now I want it back :(
It's so me... fiesty and brilliant. MAC HKSE Strayin' Lipstick.
Coastal Scents 88 Ultra Shimmer Palette
$$$$$$ YES nail lacquer by MAC
White eyeliner...I've needed this for a while. Palladio $2.99 (Sally Beauty)
Pigments (I AM NOT ON A MAC BUDGET RIGHT NOW!) .99 cents.
MAC Cream Color Base in Luna. No other company sells a white base. Can you believe it??
Homecoming is next week...I have a lot of ish that I NEED to be successful with each look I want to do. These are also good for later on, when I just want to be cute.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Friday, October 16, 2009
thoughts about Shawn...
Why is it that every central thought that I have is on you? I would like to be able to move on in a life that you don't really "consider me a part of." Feelings are so stupid. But you seem to be the only person I ever caught feelings for. This catching feelings thing is retarded because its not at all the type of girl that I am. But maybe you're the only one I've caught feelings for because you're the last person I was really attracted to like that. Maybe if I'd had a boyfriend or something I wouldn't be half as concerned about your life. It's very frustrating you know? I think it's worse that we don't speak. THEE FUCK, YOUNG? This really annoys me, because this is not who I am at all but...I'll get over it by Monday. But I just hate that every time I hear a song about love lost, or friendship fading, or a broken heart I think about you. I've been carrying this HEAVY baggage since 9th grade. I'm a senior now. But whatever my emotional ass needs to just get the...get over it. duece.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
To Mr. DAP
A Letter To the Bestie.
Davonte -- Boy, I used to hate you in kindergarten. You swore you was sooo much smarter than everyone else. (You Lied!) But you made me want to be smarter, so that was a good thing about that. lls We weren't really friends then, but we both sat at the pink table, so we were associates. It seemed like you hated, because you always knew the stuff about me that I wasn't ready to admit yet. Like you could see through me or some ish... creepy right. (especially because you still do the same thing). Then there was third grade, idk what happened but we got cool then. We actually had conversations that didn't involve arguments. It was chill. I think I really realized you were my best friend when I got to 5th grade though. Swear, we fought every Friday like clockwork, but still we managed to get past it by Monday. And Kevin almost always ended up in the middle. But through it all, we were like the three musketeers. I thank you (and Kevin)l for being my friend when I hated girls, and when they hated me. I could go on & on about our years in middle school, but it doesn't matter. We went through the same shit. You were always seeing through whatever fronts I tried to put up because you knew the real me, I respect that. You were always a reality check. And even when I was in ninth grade, you stayed true. I will forever remain greatful for your friendship, and wish you the best next year at that retarded school of yours lol.
Davonte -- Boy, I used to hate you in kindergarten. You swore you was sooo much smarter than everyone else. (You Lied!) But you made me want to be smarter, so that was a good thing about that. lls We weren't really friends then, but we both sat at the pink table, so we were associates. It seemed like you hated, because you always knew the stuff about me that I wasn't ready to admit yet. Like you could see through me or some ish... creepy right. (especially because you still do the same thing). Then there was third grade, idk what happened but we got cool then. We actually had conversations that didn't involve arguments. It was chill. I think I really realized you were my best friend when I got to 5th grade though. Swear, we fought every Friday like clockwork, but still we managed to get past it by Monday. And Kevin almost always ended up in the middle. But through it all, we were like the three musketeers. I thank you (and Kevin)l for being my friend when I hated girls, and when they hated me. I could go on & on about our years in middle school, but it doesn't matter. We went through the same shit. You were always seeing through whatever fronts I tried to put up because you knew the real me, I respect that. You were always a reality check. And even when I was in ninth grade, you stayed true. I will forever remain greatful for your friendship, and wish you the best next year at that retarded school of yours lol.
hoes.
Sidelines...
Do you feel comfortable taking the backburner to another woman? Is it a whorish deed to be another woman?
I've been in this situation before, with my first boyfriend. I waited for him to leave her, but at the time I was young and naive. But I waited for him, and I knew the hurt that I might have been causing to his girl. Because as soon as I hit the line, he dropped everything for me. But I never considered that
If he cheated with me, HE WOULD CHEAT ON ME.
I'm pretty sure he believes, that I never thought he cheated on me. But I wasn't that stupid. Females have this instinct about them, they know when their man is cheating, at that point it just becomes a matter of choosing battles.
But anyway back to the matter at hand, it's interesting to me how women always want to be the main squeeze in someone's life, but don't mind taking another woman's man.
Me personally, I don't mind being the other woman. I don't need a man, therefore I don't need to be his number one. But, I'm also not with fuckin` another woman's man. That's just low. I think if you want my body, you should have enough respect to make me your one and only.
So I just wanted to voice that I think it's okay to be friends, and let him treat you. Especially at my age, now it becomes a completely different circumstance when he has a family, or is engaged. I don't want to take a man away from his family or his wife. That's just wrong.
But a girlfriend, c`mon now. These girlFRIENDS these days have some territorial issues. You don't own him, just like he doesn't own you. And if you choose not to play the game...well that's your folly.
&& I guess that's it.
Do you feel comfortable taking the backburner to another woman? Is it a whorish deed to be another woman?
I've been in this situation before, with my first boyfriend. I waited for him to leave her, but at the time I was young and naive. But I waited for him, and I knew the hurt that I might have been causing to his girl. Because as soon as I hit the line, he dropped everything for me. But I never considered that
If he cheated with me, HE WOULD CHEAT ON ME.
I'm pretty sure he believes, that I never thought he cheated on me. But I wasn't that stupid. Females have this instinct about them, they know when their man is cheating, at that point it just becomes a matter of choosing battles.
But anyway back to the matter at hand, it's interesting to me how women always want to be the main squeeze in someone's life, but don't mind taking another woman's man.
Me personally, I don't mind being the other woman. I don't need a man, therefore I don't need to be his number one. But, I'm also not with fuckin` another woman's man. That's just low. I think if you want my body, you should have enough respect to make me your one and only.
So I just wanted to voice that I think it's okay to be friends, and let him treat you. Especially at my age, now it becomes a completely different circumstance when he has a family, or is engaged. I don't want to take a man away from his family or his wife. That's just wrong.
But a girlfriend, c`mon now. These girlFRIENDS these days have some territorial issues. You don't own him, just like he doesn't own you. And if you choose not to play the game...well that's your folly.
&& I guess that's it.
FINALLY.
eyes lock in a trance
your touch opens me
i flinch and lock back
and you try to start again
i can't help but be scared
it is my first time
you lean over my thick frame
in my ear, whispering
"Don't worry, I'mma take it from here"
The warmth of your breath
moving across my neck
sends an untangible jolt
through my body
awakening a moisture
in my precious spot.
your hands moving on my body
butterfly kisses across my chest
grasping my thighs gently
"you ready ba`e"
i close my eyes
ready for whatever
then JAM!
I squeeze onto you
causing you to suck
your teeth in the most
pleasurable pain ever
I curl my back, bite my lip
the pain still there
tears fall as I fit to you
you kiss them away.
I've done it.
It's done.
I'm yours now.
I am fit to you.
Only you.
this was great.
"go ahead, leak."
i let it go, and you smile.
virginity; no more.
finally we've had
SEX.
younameit.
i need a friend,
not a lover.
not an enemy,
i need a friend.
i need a ride home,
when my moms gotta work.
when troubles get steep,
i need an ear to listen.
i need someone to hug and hold,
so it need not be a female.
someone with big arms and personality,
i need someone to chill with.
i need to be able to argue,
don't let me always be right.
talk to me about your life,
i need to help him out.
i need you to teach me,
how to grow, love, and live.
playing drums, shooting dice,
i need him to respect boundaries.
i need a friend! are you that somebody?
not a lover.
not an enemy,
i need a friend.
i need a ride home,
when my moms gotta work.
when troubles get steep,
i need an ear to listen.
i need someone to hug and hold,
so it need not be a female.
someone with big arms and personality,
i need someone to chill with.
i need to be able to argue,
don't let me always be right.
talk to me about your life,
i need to help him out.
i need you to teach me,
how to grow, love, and live.
playing drums, shooting dice,
i need him to respect boundaries.
i need a friend! are you that somebody?
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